Quite possibly one of the most toxic if not the most toxic relationship advice I hear as a mental health therapist is “relationships are all about compromise.” If you think about the word compromise, it is not really a good word. After all do you want to get on a boat that hull has been compromised? A airplane? Probably not. So why would I want to get into or stay in a relationship where I have to compromise myself?
If you are not careful its easy to start compromising your personal boundaries, and end up unhappy in the relationship because you may well reach a point where you do not like or recognize yourself.
If you want to avoid this remember that relationships are not about compromise. They are about setting up healthy boundaries with your partner that protect and enhance your well-being and the well being of the relationship itself.
Focus on finding middle ground to create a win win dynamic between you and your partner. In fact it can be a good idea to try to negotiate and find a middle ground with most people in your life rather than bend the knee and compromise. If do compromise too much it actually will cost us the respect of the one we are trying to please and usually ends with us feeling like we are not appreciated, respected or loved.
If you or someone you love could benfit from this post or from therapy please have them contact us, or direct them to our therapist page or home page, where they can learn about what services we offer and insurances we accept.
David Linares, MHC and CEO of: Scshawaii.net and lifewiselearningcenter.com